This image is one of my references for the feeling inside Rana's cottage, artist unknown to me.
"Compress time, even an instant counts. in a battle of life and death a second is an eternity, an eternity that may decide the outcome. aim at success, compress time. don't waste an instant." (this quote, I gather, was taken from the sixth principle in a Castaneda work?, as used in someone named, Eotiv's Flickr photosteam.)
Do any of you ever have this happen? Please say that you do. Day after most days, I wake up early to get a leg up on the marvelous new morning, so filled with promise. Only to have the darkness of night fall on me like a sack of potatoes. Where the endless hours of planned productivity morphs into the cruel end of the line, arriving with seemingly nothing I wanted having gotten done, again. That going from that first moment to the last passes in a literal blink.
I find that I keep saying to myself; "I'll JUST do __________" meaning a small, "quick" simple task that I could cross of my crowded list before I get down to my main tasks of the day. I have "JUST DONE" myself out of many, many days, more than I can count. The things I do get done enrich my life, made me happy, made someone else happy, educated me, or all of the above, so I can't rightly begrudge them. Nor do I really see my interests in so many things a liability. I am grateful for the energy to go-go all day over anything.
I notice my biggest weakness though seems to be my spending too many hours on the Internet. I learn so many sensational things, visit so many terrific people that I find it wholly diverting and too difficult to pull away from. "I'll just check Mike's blog", "I'll just answer this kind comment from a new friend.", etc., Boom--9 pm.
I write this here on my Halfland blog because it has everything to do with my needing to introduce myself to some foreign discipline that I have never met, in order to make choices that produce time for working on it.
In my past, I used to answer this dilemma by staying up all night to complete my tasks or my art. I ran my health aground severely with that after about 20 years or so. The last few have been about repairing; eating, sleeping, water, exercise, profoundly de-stressing in general. So I'm going to have to satisfy my situation now with a more mature response. I'm going to have to keep the browser unbooted until 6 pm each day.
If you've run into things like this, how did you resolve it for yourself?
TOMORROW: The promised new armature and clip, a day late. I feel like such a wuss.